June
25th
Dear Diary,
I’ve been avoiding to write, worrying that
you’ll judge me, too. You’ve been observing me from my desk.
I stare at you for a moment then hop on my
laptop to surf the net or IM my friends. Once I grow bored, I stare at you and
sluggishly shuffle my feet out of my room to grab something out of the fridge.
I return and glare at you, compelling me to flip the pages of a magazine or
book to keep my mind occupied.
But yet, you’re always there staring
back at me.
I figured that you’re not going to label me
like the others, remark on what I wear, or murmur that I cover my arms most
times just to hide wounds of slitting my wrists; nothing but rumors.
You’re actually different.
You’re truth, you’re one of my friends. You listen and respect me like a
genuine pal. You’re bout like my stuffed elephant Jazzy that I’ve had since I
was 5 years old. The only difference is that you’re not squishy and soft like
him.
Your Friend,
Elizabeth “Raven” Jameson
June
23rd
Dear Diary,
So, I suppose I’m titled “chemically
imbalanced” instead of “emo” like strangers tend to judge me as—strangers that
attend at my school and label me. Eh, it's almost like stating whether I’m
chicken or fish. Obviously, Jessica Simpson would think that.
I’ve never written in one of these diaries or
journals, except during language arts when we have those retarded Writer’s
Workshops when we have to write shit for a grade. What’s different is
that, this isn’t for a grade. As Dr. Gates calls it, “It’s to show how you’re
progressing.”
Once I returned home from Dr. Gates' office, I
decorated it with skulls and a few of my ol’ nicknames or quotes, even put a
few of my favorite bands on there. What I noticed was that I never drew any
hearts on it like a normal girl, hinting at the fact that I wasn’t normal at
all.
A normal girl doesn’t dress in black, saggy
clothes. A normal girl doesn’t mope in her room and writes poetry consistently
about suicide. A normal girl doesn’t take medication for unstable, emotional minds.
I did want to attend my meetings with Dr. Gates,
I just didn’t want to take the medication. Elise’ll freak once I break the news
to her Monday, just hope she doesn’t take it overboard.
Your Friend,
Elizabeth “Raven” Jameson
